The Stress Festival

24 Aug

My life has recently evolved into such a stress festival that I have actually stopped having fun. Obviously, this is bad. There is no joy happening at all.

This lack of fun has really yanked the stopper out of the drain in the inspiration tub. Nothing is left in there but soap scum. The highlight of my day was visiting the grocery store. My feeble attempt at self-attention took the form of some chicken mango sausages and a container of tuna salad. No one else around here will eat these things; these are “selfish purchases”. Yes, it is true: when I am feeling down, I still eat healthy food. I am one of those people. Don’t hate me for it.

This stress festival is the worst festival I have ever attended, by far. There are no rides, no second-rate bands, no face painters, no overpriced foam lizards on wire leashes… not even an ugly and inexplicably green stuffed gorilla. Nothing but petty resentment on display here, and I had to bring my own tuna salad.

Whose idea was it to buy a ticket to this mess, anyway?! Probably mine, I will admit, but I am leaving just as soon as I can find my way to the parking lot, and no, I don’t want my hand stamped for re-entry.

I had more fun at this festival, although it may be hard to tell from my expression in the photo.

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12 Responses to “The Stress Festival”

  1. Bee August 24, 2011 at 11:21 pm #

    I had an overpriced foam lizard on a wire leash that I kept for years and years. I think the dog eventually ate it. I wish my current stress festival had prizes that were even half as cool as that lizard. Sorry you’re stuck at this particular party – I hope it ends soon!

    • Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface August 25, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

      Thanks, Bee. I never did get one of those lizards! When I was young, we couldn’t afford one, and by the time I was old enough to buy my own, I was too old to think I needed one. I still like seeing other people walk around with them, though.

  2. bigsheepcommunications August 25, 2011 at 2:55 am #

    Stress festivals tend to come to you, instead of the other way around, so you have to go whether you want to or not. I try to remind myself that they’re only temporary and I go with dark chocolate, which I’m going to argue is also healthy food. BTW, great hat & mask : )

    • Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface August 25, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

      I could definitely go for some chocolate right now…
      I was practically begged to wear that battle helmet for a photo. It was quite heavy, and didn’t match my dress, as you can see. I was told it was designed to make warriors look more intimidating to the enemy. Considering the wearer’s face cannot be seen at all, I think it must have worked.

  3. natasiarose August 25, 2011 at 7:04 am #

    Any festival sounds better than the stress festival. Hope things start to get better!

    • Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface August 25, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

      Thanks, Natasia. I actually felt a little bit better just from writing that post. That is the beauty of blogging.

  4. pegoleg August 25, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Oh Rayme, I’m sorry to be laughing at your stress festival, but this post cracked me up! If you have to go there, at least you brought your foil in case you have to fight your way out.

    • Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface August 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

      I’m glad it cracked you up, it was meant to be self-mocking. Stress stinks, but the solution is simple enough: do something fun. Sometimes I sacrifice too much, and I have only myself to blame.

  5. Kate Kresse August 26, 2011 at 4:16 am #

    What a great way to put it! I especially liked your line about not wanting your hand stamped for re-entry. I am going to hold that in my heart for the next time I am on my own self-chartered trip on the stressed -out express train! Thanks for blogging this today—I am guessing it helped a lot of people. When I have gone to the self-stressed carnival I feel a little like Wiley E. Coyote with his kits to catch Road Runner—there I am crashing to the ground with my super-de-duper anvil headed right toward me….and then i look out towards the audience as if to say ‘grrrrr i did it again’! so thanks for your insights.

  6. poetmcgonagall August 30, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    The strange thing about stress festivals – I have the yearly season ticket – is that at some point you realise you’re actually enjoying all the angst. Then the exit gate usually opens. Liked the gladiator helmet, by the way, and your Roman festival does look like fun. What was it? Have they revived the Games in your part of the world?

    • Rayme Wells @ A Clean Surface August 30, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Thank you for your comment, Poet. It made me smile. The photo was actually taken at a Scottish Highlands Gathering festival. There were traditional games, most of them involving large Scottish athletes tossing heavy things and grunting.

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