Once upon a time, I lived with two roommates who procured a heart-shaped waffle maker. The waffles were cute…but they rarely made appearances. They were reclusive, or maybe just a little shy. Upon the dissolution of the household, I was given custody of the waffle maker. I noticed a fine coating of dust on it. This should have been a clue.
I owned the waffle maker for more than ten years, and made waffles exactly twice. In our recent move, the waffle maker was easily sacrificed. So were the bread maker, the crock pot, the espresso maker, and various other items acquired by my husband or myself over the years. We had actually used the bread maker and the crock pot occasionally, but not often enough to justify keeping them.
The kitchen seems to be a hot spot for accumulation of unnecessary items in any home.
In a previous post, I asked readers for nominations in the unnecessary household item category. Interestingly, although I did not mention the kitchen, all of the suggestions I received were kitchen implements, including lemon reamers, food processors, and the Hot Diggity Dogger, a contraption that cooks hot dogs and buns at the same time which, shockingly, can be yours for the low, low price of $49.99 (or less, if you shop through eBay).
By the way, did you know there is a contraption designed to separate English muffins? Silly me, I have been using my fingers all these years.
Thanks to a blog post by Accidentalstepmom, I recently became aware of some utensils called a pickle spear, a bacon fork, and a butter pick. I have determined these items to be both expensive and silly. I believe that any fork or knife is quite capable of spearing a pickle, and I am still not certain why butter should be “picked” rather than simply cut and spread with a knife of some kind.
According to the sterling flatware listings on eBay, you can purchase:
- an olive spoon for $41.95 (you can also purchase an olive fork!)
- a nut/bon-bon spoon for $34.00 (I am shocked that one implement is allowed to be used for two separate foods)
- a cold meat fork for $88.00…or $131.95 (the higher price means you can fork your cold meat in an extra special way)
- a lettuce fork for $91.95 (how did I get along without one for all these years?)
- a baked potato fork for $111.95 (why?)
- a sardine server for $120.00 (are you sure your guests even like sardines?)
- a 7.5″ bacon fork for $91.95…or $121.95! (an extra 1/8” makes the difference in price)
- a hot cake (aka pancake) server for $245.95 (spatula anyone?)
- a salad serving fork for $265.95 (seriously??)
If you purchase the nine utensils listed above, you will spend (using the highest prices I have listed here) a grand total of $1,165.65.
I do respect serious collectors, especially those wishing to preserve history. Even so, I wouldn’t want any of these items…even if someone else paid for them.
Where would I put them? How much time would I spend digging out an olive spoon (or an olive fork) every time I opened an olive jar? How much time would I spend polishing the silver?
No, thank you.