Decisions, Decisions.

3 Sep

Some decisions are easier than others.

I recently read in an old magazine (Real Simple, February 2010) about a woman who once took five years to choose a set of curtains for her house, but married her husband after knowing him less than two weeks.  Decades later, the husband is still a keeper…no word on the status of the drapes.  Colors and patterns tend to go out of style, so I’m betting the curtains were replaced.

When I was about twelve years old, my mother took me to buy a much needed winter coat.  We went to only one store and I didn’t see anything special.  I looked at coats, and tried them on, feeling unimpressed and noncommittal.  My mother stood around while I gazed at my own reflection.  Finally, she gave me a time limit to decide.  If I didn’t choose something in that time, we just wouldn’t buy a coat.

So, I chose a coat.  It was a poor choice: a puffy gray knit that got fuzzballs and made me look like a linty marshmallow.  I wore it for a while, until my vanity got the better of me, and then I decided I would rather be cold.  Ultimately, it was waste of money.

I’m still not sure what lesson to take from the experience.  A slow decision wasn’t working, and the quick decision didn’t turn out well either.  The best lesson may be: only buy what you love.  Otherwise, wear layers.

I feel an affinity with the woman who married quickly but couldn’t choose a window treatment for five years.  I married fairly quickly, too, and became an instant parent of three ready-made children.  Maybe I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I would happily do it all over again.

Today, we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.

I have several coats now, and thankfully, none of them make me look like a linty marshmallow… but it’s love that keeps me warm.

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6 Responses to “Decisions, Decisions.”

  1. drlisachu September 9, 2010 at 12:45 pm #

    Happy anniversary, Rayme! You are a pillar of peace, inspiring in so many ways.

  2. Jessica September 16, 2010 at 6:22 am #

    I loved this post! I can just see you in your puffy gray marshmallow coat. Even if you hated it, you probably were still pretty cute. 🙂

    I agonize before decisions, too, when I can’t put them off indefinitely (the bedroom’s still not painted after 2 years)… but still surprise myself by the way I decided to marry Kevin: literally overnight, from “I don’t know, I don’t know, waaaaaaaaah I don’t know” to “he’s the one” – and never looked back.

    Your decision to marry Dave, when I first heard about it, was pretty shocking… it seemed you were giving up so much, all at once – how could it possibly be a fair deal? But here you are, with a life full of love and still (how now?!?) an aura of thoughtfulness and compassion.

  3. It's just a web site man! December 14, 2010 at 10:32 am #

    Great post, and words to live by. I find that thinking through things in a logical manner makes making decisions easier. I also find that being unable to make a decision causes me some anxiety, so I usually will make a decision quicker than most people. My feeling is that life goes on, so I think things through a bit, then decide and move on, living with my decisions, right or wrong.

    • acleansurface December 14, 2010 at 10:53 am #

      Thanks for commenting, Ginzo. This is one of my favorite posts.

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